Introducing England's Children to the Internet
by shadowraven45662
Summary: England's children, the counties of england, have decided  albeit not unanimously  to introduce themselves to the world via video diaries. So its time to meet the craziest kids since the states of america! Perhaps they'll even rope their cousins in too!
1. Video Diary 1: London

**Hello eveyone! I'd like to introduce you to the children of England! Each one represents a different county of England and they've all got their own stories to tell. But some aren't as cooperative as others! So first up is london, who wasnt told what this was all for...**

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><p>Video Diary 1<p>

Full Name; Charlotte "Lottie" Kirkland Country of Middlesex and City of London

Age: In reality it's none of your business, in appearance about 18 or so. Well, I can get into pubs so that's all that matters.

Ok, so whose stupid idea was this again? Dad did you have to go and make us try a video diary? Really? Ah well, I suppose it may be good in the long run. *addresses Camera*

My name *points to self-* is Lottie Kirkland and I am England's capital city of London kay?

I have a history that spans..uhhh well I'm about as old as Dad I think so a little over 1500 years or so. I've always been an important place as long as I can remember. What with having the river Thames run through my land. But it hasn't all been prosperous after all there was 1666 when-

*scuffling behind camera whispered voices*

Oh shut it Cumbria! I can talk about my history if I want to! I've got more of it than you have!

*whispered voice again*

No I don't care if Norfolk and Suffolk are fighting again! That's their own problem *looks back at camera* a-anyways in 1666 there was the Great fire which burned through my city, and I've survived the blitz as well! So none of this "girls belong in the home nonsense!"

Appearance *looks away at person off camera* is this like a dating site advert or something? They can see my appearance already!

Ahk fine! I'm tall, blonde hair and green eyes like dad. Currently wearing my school uniform since I'd only been home five minutes before I was roped into this! *voices off camera, someone asks her to describe hobbies and interests*

This is turning into a dating site advert! Northampton I cannot believe you lot tricked me into this? W-Wait this isn't live is it? *camera nods* Y-You're kidding me r-right? *camera shakes*

WHAT THE BLOODY HELL? BUT WHAT IF PARIS IS WATCHING? OR ONE OF THE OTHER CAPITALS? MY REPUTATION WILL BE RUINED! *storms off camera*

*voices from off camera*

Well, for a first interview she was certainly eventful

But we hardly got any info out of her!

Well, we'll film the others and maybe she'll do another one some other time.

*camera shuts off*

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><p><strong>Yes, she is meant to be bad tempered, she takes after England's tsundereness. next up is Northumberland!<strong>


	2. Video Diary 2: Northumberland

**2 chapters in one night? wow im working hard! **

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><p>Video Diary 2<p>

Full Name: Alexander Kirkland County of Northumberland

Age: Not sure really, but about 17 in appearance

*Camera Switches on to face a nervous looking boy*

Oh Lord, I saw London's vid an' I'm nowt sure I want ta do one've these. Ya sure this is a good idea? After all she was pretty mad after all that.

*person behind camera says encouraging things*

Alrigh' I'll do one then. I'm Alexander but most people call me Alex. I'm the one who's always havin' t' stop everyone else from killin' each other. I don't look much like dad really, more like Uncle Scotland. The red 'airs kinda a giveaway. I don't know really what else there is t'tell ya. 'cept that-

*loud bangs can be heard from above, screaming noises*

'cept that I think I'm gonna 'ave t'go an' break up another fight. *he gets up and goes off camera*

*voices from off camera*

This is no good,

C'mon Northants we can do this!

I dunno Cumbria none of the older ones wanna cooperate!

Look its not our fault Essex and Sussex decide to kill each other all the time. We'll do each other next alright! Then maybe we can convince the younger ones to have a go!

*camera shuts off*

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><p><strong>they just dont have any luck! so next up is Northamptonshire!<strong>


	3. Video Diary 3: Cumbria

**Alright! chapter 3! Just to clarify i don't own hetalia or beatrix potter or anything really. just my little oc's :) any suggestions for video diary entries accepted! counties will be making more than one appearance :)**

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><p>Video Diary 3<p>

Full Name: Beatrix Kirkland Country of Cumbria

*video switches on to reveal a plainly dressed girl with long blonde hair tied neatly into a long side plait. She sits confidently on the chair*

Alright! Since the other two pretty much epically failed their first blogs I'd better set an example as to how it's supposed to be done! *she looks at person holding camera* right Northants? *person off screen nods, shaking the camera a little. Girl returns her gaze to the camera.*

Right! My name's Beatrix Kirkland, after Beatrix Potter! You know she was a famous author. You've heard of Peter rabbit right? Well if you haven't google it. She was also a famous scientist studying mushrooms and stuff and since she lived in my country I chose her name for me!

Well, to describe my county I have a huuge national park called the Lake District! This has hills and lakes, obviously, where people often come for holidays! I like to go for long walks along the hilltops and look down on all the lakes below, it's really beautiful!

As for me, well I like walking s I've said and also I like hot soup in winter! It really warms you up! But Dad's soup's always burnt so I have to make my own.

*looks at person behind camera* do you think that's enough? I mean I covered everything I can think of! And we didn't have any interruptions this time, I knew it was a good idea to tie the twins up!

*Loud shouting from off screen* Right? Who's been messing around with the ship's ropes again?

*Cumbria looks worriedly back at camera* Shoot! That's dad's voice! Exit stage left!

*camera shuts off*

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><p><strong>next up is Durham!<strong>


	4. Video Diary 4: Durham

**This is durham county, apologies if i've written country instead of county. Its because i never reread things properly :)... hehe**

**Thank you to all of my reviewers so far! You're all great motivation to keep updating!**

**Also if you have an OC and you think i may have copied it by mistake (i know there are some oc's writing to Victorian Iggy) let me know and i'll change it. I don't mean to copy! **

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><p>Video Diary 4<p>

Full Name: Anna-Mae Kirkland County of Durham

*camera switches on. A girl in casual jeans and a union flag t-shirt stands beside a bookcase*

I cannot believe I am doing this, really, but I suppose this is better than homework. So *looks at person off camera* do I just introduce myself? *looks back* Anna-Mae Kirkland, Durham county,16, 5'5" , blood type A positive….

*Notices something off camera*

Too detailed? What do you want from me? Alright then! Today I got roped into a game of truth or dare with the twins, lost and was forced to forfeit. They told me to write US UK on Dad's car, I refused so they did it anyway and blamed it on me-Happy now?

*hushed whispers off camera*

Well you said this was a video on our everyday happenings! This sort of thing happens a lot to me! Just because you two don't help to babysit!

*storms off*

Really, I cannot be bothered anymore, go and bother someone else!

*voices from off camera*

We'll tell dad you didn't paint the message on the car then?

*Durham's voice is heard*

I wouldn't if I were you, he and London are having a drinking contest again! If she wins he'll be depressed all night!

*Cumbria's voice is heard*

That might be fun to get on camera y'know.

*camera shuts off*

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><p><strong>Alright! Next up on my little list is Yorkshire!<strong>


	5. Video Diary 5: Yorkshire

**This was the hardest chapter so far. No offense to anyone from yorkshire, i can't write the yorkshire dialect at all. I love to listen to it though so i know how it should sound, but i cant put it in words... Most of his character is based off stereotypes down south have of those up north. He keeps Denmark's name (i've used his fandom name) because he still sees his second father hehe. **

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><p>Video Diary 5<p>

Full Name: Albert Kirkland-Køhler County of Yorkshire

*camera switches on. Tall boy in dirty jeans, ripped t-shirt and a flat-cap. He is scowling*

So What'ya want me t'say? I'm Albert, like Prince Albert y'know 'im righ'? But I'm also *draws himself up proudly* County o'Yorkshire. I don' like none uv this filmin' lark you two are up to. It'll do nowt good for yeh when Dad finds out will it?

*Northampton's voice from off camera*

Speak properly will you? This is going worldwide and even I'm having trouble hearing you!

*Yorkshire scowls but continues nonetheless*

Alrigh' Alrigh' But I'm tellin you I don't like nowt of this! I'm Yorkshire, n' I was raised by both Dad, tha' is t'say England, an' also Denmark fer a while as well. Known as tha' Kingdom of Jórvík I was. Tha's why a keep 'is name too ya' see.

I'm known fer bein tight-fisted, 'n idon't deny it. *addresses camera* But I don't lend money t'a Copenhagen 'nymore 'cause I don't see nowt of it again! As my motto says:

'Ear all, see all, say nowt;

Eyt all, sup all, pay nowt;

And if ivver tha does owt fer nowt

- Do it fer thissen.

Also, I'm a very busy man wiv a lot ov sheep t'a be lookin' after so if ya don't mind I'll be off!

*leaves, voices off camera*

And there goes another one…

Did you even understand a word he said?

Well, I understand more Yorkshire dialect than I do scouse.

That's true, when do we interview Merseyside?

*sound of paper rustling*

Not for a while, we've got Lancashire next.

Oh God not him! It'll be nothing but cricket!

*camera shuts off*

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><p><strong>Such a hard chapter to write.. apologies if he's come out wrong. Next up is Lancashire oh yes! I intend on getting cricket into this one! It wouldn't be england without it! I hope to have a later chapter with all the Cricket counties together! Which means dear old Yorkshire will be making a reappearance :)<strong>


	6. Video Diary 6: Lancashire

**Alright! Lancashire! the second cricket county! and we get a cricket chapter this tme! i couldnt be england's kids without it im afraid :) thanks to all my reviewers! The Iggy Cat, 101Icestormxx, and O-Rachel-O! **

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><p>Video Diary 6<p>

Full Name: Frederick Kirkland County of Lancashire

*camera turns on, a boy stands in a doorway. He is dressed in cricket whites and is carrying a bat in one hand. His blonde hair s cropped short and he has bright green eyes*

Guys you really pick ya moments don't ye? I've just come back from cricket practise 'n you come charging t'wards me with that camera you stole from dad. Could'ya 'ave at least let me get changed?

*voices from behind camera*

Who were you playing against?

*Lancashire smiles*

Who'd ya think? I just beat Sussex by 9 wickets! I tanked him! My team are the best by far! Lightning forever!

*Northampton interrupts*

Please we're far better! Steelbacks could beat Lightning anyday!

*Lancashire scowls*

You wanna come 'ere an' say that? I'm the Red Rose county! Home of Lancashire Hot Pot an' my County Cricket team is far better than yours!

*Sound of someone sighing*

Oh I knew this was gonna happen! Northants!, Lancs! Shut it! No one cares about bloody cricket!

WE CARE!

*Lancashire turns and calls up the stairs*

'Ey! Yorkshire!, Warwickshire!, Surrey!, Sussex! You think crickets important right?

*loud shouts of agreement from upstairs*

I'm ending this before a fight breaks out

*camera shuts off*

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><p><strong>Right! Next on my little list of counties is Bedfordhire! (big jump down south!) this is my home county so i should have lots to write about :)<strong>

**read, review, enjoy :)**


	7. Video Diary 7: Bedfordshire

**Alright, call me biased but this has been my favourite chapter to write so far. but not saying i havent loved writing all the other chapters as well :)**

**From over 15 years experience of the Bedforshire accent i can only say that the closest thing to writing it is using Poland's "valley girl" talk, but with all your letter "T's dropped. Although i don't really speak like this too badly, this is like how i talk normally haha...**

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><p>Video Diary 7<p>

Full Name: Becky Kirkland county of Bedfordshire

*camera switches on, Northampton's voice is heard*

OK! We haven't had much luck with the northern counties, they're all pretty uncooperative gits. So Cumbria and I decided it was time we interviewed a southern county! So, when we find her we'll be interviewing Bedfordshire!

*camera shakes around as it is carried by Cumbria, the two make their way up two flights of stairs until they reach a door painted a powder blue colour with several different posters and stickers all over it. *

Right this is her room, I think she's in here!

*the door opens to reveal a short girl with blonde hair styled almost exactly like Poland's except for the fact she has dyed it with neon blue streaks, She is wearing a blue glitter miniskirt, navy jumper and knee high black boots with buckles. She smiles when she sees the camera*

Yeah? What do you two want this early in the morning? Oh! Is this that video thingy London's been complainin' 'bout? She says you guys like were stalkin' everyone with ya camera 'n forcing them to like make videos or somefin. You want me to introduce myself or something?

*camera nods*

Alrigh! Well my name's Becky Kirkland an' I'm like Bedfordshire yea? I'm not as well-known as like London or somefin but I've still got my own talents. I'm fluent in several languages! Urdu, Bengali, Arabic and Polish! In fact Poland 'n I get along pretty well actually, hence like the hair ya'see!

*she runs her fingers though her hair, showing it off to the camera*

Dyed it last nigh' y'like it?

*Cumbria's voice*

Yes, but dad's gonna kill you for it!

*Bedfordshire laughs*

Ha! No he won't!, he didn't after I got this did he?

*pulls her shirt up a little to show off diamond belly ring*

Ok, so I got grounded for a week, but he forgave me eventually! I just told him I was like expressin my individuali'y an' he let me keep it!

*Northampton's voice*

I thought you just threatened to tell everyone at the world meeting about dad's tongue piercing he got back in the '60's.

*Bedfordshire laughs*

Ok, Ok you got me. Is that enough for ya little video thingy? 'cuz I've got things t'do kay?

*two voices from off camera*

Thank you!

*camera switches off*

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><p><strong>right! hope that was enjoyable for you all! next on my little list is Berkshire (pronounced Barkshire as someone pointed out to me the other day hehehe) See ya then and thanks to everyone for the reviews! <strong>


	8. Video Diary 8: Berkshire

**Ok, so this one was hard to write! i figure since a lot of very posh places happen to be in berkshire she would be a little, lets say, aloof. sort of like austria but without the german accent. she likes spending money and flaunting her status to anyone will listen hehe.**

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><p>Video Diary 8<p>

Full Name: Lauren Kirkland Royal County of Berkshire

*Camera switches on, a girl is sitting by a desk twirling her blonde hair around one finger. She wears her hair in a bun, except for the one stray strand round her finger. She wears a long dress and has pink ribbons in her blonde hair.*

So tell us a little about yourself Berkshire!

For a start you pronounce my county Barkshire! Even if it is written with an "e"!

*she scowls at camera*

Really do I have to do this, London warned me about you two! Anyways. I'm Berkshire, Royal County I'll have you know. I have Royals who live in my county! Windsor Castle nonetheless! My name is Lauren Kirkland and I like tea. That enough?

*camera shakes*

Tell us a little more please?

*Berkshire looks annoyed*

Well, I am one of the historic counties and one of the oldest as well. Although I don't look it I know. *continues twirling her finger around her hair*

I'm famous for Ascot racecourse, you know where they race horses? And wear all the stupid hats? Jane Austin comes from my county too! And there's Eton college and-

*Northampton interrupts*

O-Ok I think we've enough now!

*camera is moved away from Berkshire as they leave the room*

God, she's so affected! Just because she's a royal county!

Never mind, we got the interview right? And at least she always buys us expensive Christmas presents!

Agreed! Now who's next?

*camera turns off*

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><p><strong>next is Bristol! first of our seaside counties! read review and enjoy!<strong>


	9. Video Diary 9: Bristol

**This time its bristol, only he's nowhere to be seen. Since its Saturday after all so he's gone out to support his team! **

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><p>Video Diary 9<p>

Full Name: Sam Kirkland County of Bristol

*Camera Switches on*

So this time we have Bristol on our list of interviewees!

But he's not here…

I'm sure this time we'll be successful

Uhh Cumbria?

*camera flips round to show Northampton and Cumbria*

Yeaas?

Bristol left three hours ago

WHAT? WHERE THE HECK DID HE GO?

He's gone to a footie match; its Bristol Rovers vs Aston Villa today

HE LEFT? WHEN I SPECIFICALLY TOLD HIM WE WERE DOING HIS INTERVIEW TODAY? AND FOR A BLOODY FOOTBALL MATCH!

Its not just him Most of them have gone today. It is Saturday after all….

Alright then we shall have to make up for it until we can get him on camera, what do we know about Bristol?

Umm *Northampton thinks for a few seconds* He's 14, tall dark, handsome, but not as handsome as I am *winks at camera*

Shut it Northants! We know his name is Sam Kirkland and Bristol is a south western county.

He lives near Somerset and Gloucestershire.

We really know nothing about him do we?

*Cumbria sighs* We'll get him later trust me.

*camera switches off*

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><p><strong>Ok, next county is Buckinghamshire but i'm not sure if that will be my next chapter!<strong>


	10. Christmas In the Kirkland Household

**So instead of another interview here we have the first part of christmas in the kirkland household. Where they all come together to celebrate christmas!**

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><p>Video Diary 10<p>

Christmas at the Kirkland household 1: decorations

*camera switches on, Northampton's voice*

Alright so a little different from our interviews today. Its coming up to Christmas and dad's FINALLY managed to arrange for us all to come up to his house in London and decorate the place for Christmas!

*Cumbria's voice*

That makes things easier because now we don't have to travel all across the country to gather interviews! Everyone's gonna be at dad's house until new years!

*they approach a large house with many windows and a balcony. It is typical London style architecture and is one of a terrace of very posh looking houses*

Ok Northants knock on the door!

*they knock on an ornate brass doorknocker. The door opens to reveal a very tired looking England. He is holding a very battered looking star in one hand and has tinsel draped around his neck*

Hello you two, come on in you're one of the first to arrive.

*voice from inside, its Bedfordshire's*

Cumbria? Northants? Is that like you two? C'mon in we're like ge'in' the tree out!

*the two enter the household where decorating is already in full swing. Inside the spacious living room Yorkshire and Norfolk are in the process of standing a large (at least 7ft) Christmas tree up in its pot. The twins Essex and Sussex are running round wildly with tinsel whilst Derbyshire arranges some Christmassy candles along the mantelpiece. Hampshire is helping Little Isle of Wight to place little stars along the windows.*

*camera pans around the room, taking In the chaos of decorating. England looks at the two.*

So this is the infamous camera I've been hearing about. Well make sure you help out with decorations and the like.

*The camera is placed on a shelf where it can record the goings on of the entire room. Cumbria and Northants make themselves busy with helping to decorate. The tree is lit up with flashing lights courtesy of Cornwall and Merseyside. Outside England, with the help of Warwickshire, Yorkshire and Greater Manchester, attempts to put up the Christmas lights. Isle of Wight is lifted up by Nottingham to place the tiny angel (that looks suspiciously like Britannia angel) on top of the tree. All the children hang up their own stocking by the fireplace. Each one has their names hand sewn on them in gold thread. The camera is moved by Suffolk into the kitchen where the long table is laid with a red and gold tablecloth. A smaller tree is placed in the centre. The camera is moved to show the stairs are decorated with tinsel and baubles. Soon all the decorating is finished*

Well kids this has been a fine day's work for all of us.

*all cheer!* Thanks dad!

So, since I don't believe any of us are in the mood to cook tonight how about we have fish and chips as a treat?

*Northants picks up the camera*

great! Now we're all set for Christmas! And Fish and Chips to boot!

*camera switches off*

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><p><strong>Ok, next up is Buckinghamshire so stay tuned!<strong>


	11. Christmas In the Kirkland Household 2

**i apologise for the lack of updates, christmas and all that. please accept this fluffy little christmas story as an apology! Christmas at the Kirkland Household!**

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><p>Video Diary 11<p>

Christmas at the Kirkland household 2:

Its Early Morning in the Kirkland household, the sun just beginning to rise above the trees. Inside a large house in a very high class end of London over 50 children are sleeping. Sharing rooms some sleep on beds, camp beds and lilos, others on sofas or just on the floor. One has even hung a hammock up for them to sleep in.

The rooms are lavishly decorated for Christmas and, downstairs a pile of presents awaits the children beneath the tree. Finland having nearly done his back in carrying them all in. ("Why the hell do England and America have so many bloody kids? Perkele this bag is heavy!")

In one of the beds, having fought long and hard in order to get the comfiest one, Hampshire opens one sleepy eye. The little boy looks down at the toddler lying across his stomach who hadn't been there when he'd first gone to sleep. Isle of Wight is snoring softly, dreaming of squirrels.

Cambridgeshire is already awake; carefully placing a mousetrap under Oxfordshire's fingers. Christmas or not he can't resist an opportunity like this. London, in her own room which she has locked to prevent any of her siblings entering, is reading by lamplight. They all know that they're not allowed to wake their dad just yet. The learnt the lesson last year that Arthur Kirkland does not like being woken at 4 am.

"SNAP!"

"OWIE! CAMBRIDGESHIRE WHAT THE HECK?"

"Uugh shut it Oxfordshire I'm trying to sleep!"

"But Kent! Cambridgeshire did the mousetrap trick again!"

All around Oxfordshire a dozen or so blonde heads emerge from blankets. Kent sits up from his hammock and glares at the wailing Oxfordshire.

"Its four in the morning, Dad will kill us if we wake him. Ox, leave it Cambridgeshire's just being a git. Now I don't know about the rest of you but I want some more sleep!"

Yorkshire nods "I'll second tha'"

"But he used a mousetraaap! That git could have broken my fingers again!"

"JUST SHUT UP!" yells Warwickshire.

Soon a fight has broken out. Cambridgeshire and Oxfordshire at the centre, with various others involved as well. Things are getting so noisy it wakes the children sleeping in the other rooms as well. London sighs and puts her ipod headphones in. "Just ignore it" she says to herself.

"Is it morning already?" a sleepy looking Dorset asks, nudging Devonshire next to him.

"Well a fights already broken out so it must be" The boy replies.

"Well you know what that means then?"

"umm, dad's gonna go to their room in a minute and yell at them for waking him up?"

"yes, that and ITS CHRISTMAS!"

Suddenly everyone in the bedroom is awake, Christmas excitement spreading like a virus around the young counties. Sure enough they can hear their father's pounding footsteps as he goes to stop the fight down the hall. But they're all too busy getting up and dressed. Looking forward to going downstairs and seeing their stockings and the tree.

"IT IS FOUR IN THE MORNING WHY THE BLOODY HELL ARE YOU FIGHTING?" Yells England at the bundle of fighting children. They break up immediately. "Get UP, Get DRESSED and THEN and ONLY THEN you can go see what presents Fin-Santa has brought you alright? And any more fighting will result in me confiscating all presents from you alright?"

So, hurriedly the counties get up and troop downstairs. All around are stockings filled with gifts and treats. The counties rush to open them and discover what awaits them. It's a storm of ripped paper and ribbons, bows and labels. England casually makes himself a cup of tea and sits down, watching the chaos ensue. They'll calm down eventually he knows. But for now he'll let them go wild.

"If I'm lucky" he thinks "they'll go and pester France's kids later."

He is distracted by a small tug on his trouser leg. He looks down and sees little Isle of Wight, the youngest county, looking up to him with her glassy green eyes. She holds up a tiny present, messily wrapped since she's tried to do it herself.

"For you daddy"

England smiles "Thanks little one" he says as he lifts the girl up onto his knee. Carefully unwrapping the present revealing a tiny bracelet of charms. One is a union flag, there's a teapot, a faerie and a tiny crown. England carefully puts it on and smiles.

"I'll treasure it forever little one, Merry Christmas"

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><p><strong>fluffy! sorry, couldn't resist. . i'll try to update more often but i've got scholl and all that.<strong>


	12. New Year!

**New year story! whether or not you've celebrated new year or not by the time you've read this i wish you all the best in 2012! **

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><p>New Year<p>

"So you join me! Sally Jakes of BBC news interviewing just a few of the many people who have turned up here to London embankment to watch the New Year fireworks! Firstly why don't we Interview this lovely young lady over here? What's your name sweetie?"

"Suffolk"

"Nice to meet you Suf- wait what?"

"You heard me, Tamsin Kirkland county of Suffolk." The girl points to her brother "and this is my Twin, Norfolk, Thomas Kirkland."

The interviewer looks slightly bemused, then she catches sight of the children's father and suddenly she understands. She's been sworn to secrecy about England and his counties, but these two don't seem to care about national secrecy or anything.

London, however, does care "Shut up you morons!"

"Hey! Lot you meanie!"

"Don't hurt my sister Lottie!"

"A-Anyways," the reporter continues " are the two of you looking forward to the fireworks?"

"Yeah!" They both chorus happily.

"and you sir" the reporter holds out her microphone to England who's holding Isle of Wight in one arm and holding Dorset's hand, "are you looking forward to the new year? Any new years resolutions?"

"Well…" England begins, thinking about all the resolutions he had made but couldn't really say. Killing France, teaching America some manners, reminding Spain of the Armada etc etc. " I guess just to give up chocolate like everyone else"

"He should try giving up alcohol" Whispers Cornwall.

Next to her Hertfordshire and Bedfordshire giggle.

The reporter moves on away from them on to interview some more, normal people. Somerset shivers "Daddy its so cold!"

"Well Somerset" Bedfordshire says kindly " I did tell you to wear a coat and scarf"

Suddenly the crowd falls silent as the clock tower strikes midnight and the clanging ring of Big Ben sounds out across the whole River.

BONG

"I resolve to stop putting mousetraps under Cambridge's fingers" Whispers Oxfordshire.

BONG

"I resolve to eat more chocolate" whispers Birmingham

BONG

"I resolve to beat Yorkshire at cricket this year" Whispers Lancashire.

BONG

"I resolve to teach Isle of Wight how to sail" whispers Hampshire

BONG

"We resolve to stop teasing London by calling her Middlesex and insisting she's our triplet" whisper Essex and Sussex

BONG

"We resolve to tidy our room properly" Whisper Norfolk and Suffolk

BONG

"I resolve to stop teasing my Welsh cousins" Whispers Cheshire

BONG

"I resolve to stop annoying Greater Manchester every time Liverpool wins the football" Whispers Merseyside

BONG

"I resolve to keep Hertfordshire and Buckinghamshire from killing each other again" whispers Bedfordshire

BONG

"I resolve to keep Uncle Scot's kids away from cheap whisky" whispers Northumberland

BONG

"I resolve t'win the cricket championship again" Whispers Yorkshire

BONG

"I resolve to stop getting tourists lost in the lake district" Whispers Cumbria

BONG

"I resolve to keep my bloody kids out of trouble" Whispers England.

The fireworks begin, sending explosions of light and colour into the sky, illuminating the London eye and Big Ben clock tower and the Houses of Parliament. The river glows and shimmers with the lights of the fireworks and everyone ooohs and aaahhhs. It is over far too soon. But the minute has gone, the old year is behind them and 2012 lies ahead.

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

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><p><strong>read review and enjoy!<strong>


	13. Video Diary 12: Buckinghamshire

**Apologies for the lack of updates! What with new year and all ive been really busy. I'll try to get back to updating often like i used to, but i have exams and things so it may not be every day. **

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><p>Video Diary 12: Buckinghamshire<p>

Full Name: Daniel Kirkland

*Camera switches on to show a small boy with wild blonde hair that sticks out in every direction, he is wearing jeans and a t-shirt and there are mud and grass stains everywhere he speaks to the camera*

My name is Buckinghamshire! That's one of the three counties! My two older Siblings are Hertfordshire and Bedfordshire! Well I have lots of others too but they're the only ones I like.

*Cumbria's voice* Hey! Why don't you like us?

*northants voice* Yeah why?

*The boy gives a sly smile* I don't hate you! I just don't see you s often as I do Beds and Herts! Why did you come down here anyway? I though you two came from *here the boy puts on a northern accent* t'up north?

*Cumbria interrupts* for a start Bucks NEVER do that accent again that was dreadful. Secondly we're here because we thing we deserve as much attention as Uncle Alfred's kids get alright? So be a good boy and introduce yourself for the video!

*Buckinghamshire scowls* Don't wanna.

*northants hits him* Alright! Alright! Like I said I'm one of three counties! I'm most well known because of Milton Keynes which is one of my Biggest Cities! It's the best for shopping I think! Now can I go? I've gotta go beat Nottingham at footie kay?

*He dashes off camera and the sound of a door opening and closing can be heard Cumbria sighs*

Never mind, we got more out of him than we did Yorkshire I suppose. Who's next on our list?

*camera switches off*

* * *

><p><strong>Next on my list is! Cambridgeshire!<strong>


	14. Video Diary 13: Cambridgeshire

**Ok so i have to admit this chapter was fun to write ^^ hope you enjoy!**

* * *

><p>Video Diary 13: Cambridgeshire<p>

Full Name: Anthony Kirkland

*camera switches on to show Northants and Cumbria walking along a street filled with busy students Cumbria addresses the camera*

Hello! You join us here on the streets of Cambridge, one of the largest cities in England! It's also home to a very famous university! We're going to visit Cambridgeshire himself to get our interview! Also I'd like to welcome our new camera man! This i , well I know you can't see him, Yorkshire whom we interviewed before!

I wan' nowt t'do with this, you'd better pay up fer this.

*Cumbria scowls* anyways! Let's get our interview! Northants where did Cambridgeshire say he'd meet us?

In the library.

*the camera shakes a little as it is carried into a huge ornate library. It is deathly silent inside. At one of the tables a tall boy sits his nose buried in a book. He wears a smart suit and tie, his hair is neatly combed and just reaches past his ears, he wears a pair of square glasses. When the camera approaches he looks up and gives a small smile*

Good morning Northamptonshire, Cumbria, Yorkshire. I presume you're here to make me give an interview.

*loudly Cumbria replies* YES!

SHHHH! *say people in the library*

Well what do you want to know exactly? I'm the home of the greatest universities in England, I am the second largest city. I like studying and reading and I consider myself to be the most mature of all of us.

*Northants speaks up* but immature enough to stick Ox's fingers in a mousetrap at Christmas?

*Camera shakes as Yorkshire nods in agreement*

U-Uh Oxfordshire d-doesn't count! She deserves everything she gets!

SHHH!

*a stern looking librarian comes into the shot*

I'm afraid that since you cannot be quiet I shall have to ask you all to leave. And why is there a camera in here? I shall have to confiscate it!

*camera is switched off hurriedly*

* * *

><p><strong>and naturally the next one to do is oxfordshire!<strong>


	15. Video Diary 14: Oxfordshire

**Yay!** **Its Ox's turn! if you don't know where her name comes from then i seriously recommend you read the Northern Lights by Phillip Pullman! (its the Golden compass in America for some reason though) **

**Also since i haven't done it for a while. I do not own hetalia, northern lights nor harry potter. just my little OC's **

* * *

><p>Video Diary 14: Oxfordshire<p>

Full Name: Lyra Kirkland

*Camera switches on to show a huge museum filled with all sorts of bones, rocks and exhibits. Northants and Cumbria are standing on the balcony looking out over the exhibits Cumbria addresses the camera*

Ok since Yorkshire got annoyed at us after we didn't pay him for being our camera man we've got ourselves a new one! And he owes us since he disappeared off to football when we told him we were going to interview him. So say hi to Bristol everyone!

*Northants continues*

Now today we are standing in Oxford museum since we got thrown out of the library in Cambridgeshire. Oxfordshire said she'd meet us in here!

*a girl comes over to them. Her blonde hair is tied into low bunches either side of her head. Like Cambridgeshire she wears square glasses on her nose. She wears a smart white blouse with a green tie, and a pleated skirt long socks and smart shoes. *

There you are, are you enjoying the museum?

*Cumbria and Northants nod, Bristol can be heard off camera*

You've only dragged us round it like 20 times…

Anyways! I guess I should introduce myself for your little interview thing. I am Oxfordshire, home to the best university in England-

That's what Cambridgeshire said.

-Shut it Northants! Like I said the BEST university in England. My main city of Oxford is known as the city of dreaming spires and was the setting of a well-known book series.

*camera shakes a little as Bristol nods*

Also some of the Harry Potter scenes were shot in my city! How's that for amazing hmm?

*Cumbria smiles* That's cool!

Also I consider myself to be the most mature out of all of us.

Again that's what Cambridgeshire said.

-Shut it Northants! That immature fool is nothing compared to me! I know how to do it right!

*Bristol and Northants explode into laughter, very nearly dropping the camera*

THAT'S WHAT SHE SAID!

Oh see what I mean! You're all immature! Good day!

*Oxfordshire walks off and the camera is turned off*

* * *

><p><strong>haha couldn't resist ^^ next up is... Cheshire!<strong>


	16. Video Diary 15: Cheshire

**hello again! i'm updating again! this time its the slightly creepy cheshire! (cheshire cats and all, Alice in wonderland is one creepy novel!)**

**i own nothing but my OC's enjoy the story!**

* * *

><p>Video Diary 15:<p>

Full name: Alice Kirkland

*Camera switches on to show a room decorated with lots of swirling colours and mirrors, everything looks a little confusing and dizzying. A large Ginger Tomcat sits lazily on a chair purring loudly. A girl in a blue dress with long blonde hair hanging loose to her waist sits next to the cat stroking its fur. She smiles at the camera. He voice is very soft and almost a little creepy.*

You two are doing interviews? How nice. Well my name is Alice Kirkland, county of Cheshire. This is Jabberwocky my pet cat.

*camera shakes as the holder, Northants, shivers a little*

I live near to Uncle Wales' house and I am well known for my Cheshire cheese production. Oh and Cheshire cats of course haha, I presume you've both read Alice in Wonderland?

*camera shivers again*

You're not very talkative either of you are you? I heard from the others that you never shut up and that you get on their nerves. Yet when I finally meet you I find that you're both quiet as mice! How strange!

*She smiles creepily*

W-Well t-thank you f-for the i-interview sister b-but Cumbria a-and I will be g-going now….

*She looks up from the cat*

What so soon? Are you sure you don't want to stay for a game of cards or something?

*Cumbria's voice*

N-No really we're j-just fine t-thank you!

*the girl goes out of camera view as Northants and Cumbria leave the room*

She doesn't get any less creepy does she?

Shh! She might hear you! Do you want another cursing!

*camera turned off*

* * *

><p><strong>next up is Cornwall! <strong>


	17. Video Diary 16: Cornwall

Video Diary 16: Cornwall

Full Name: Jennifer Kirkland

*Camera Switches on to show a girl in a neat blue frock and white shirt, ankle socks and black button over shoes. Her blonde hair is straight and comes down to her waist, she has a thick fringe.*

Dydh da! My name is Kernow! One of the Ceremonial counties of England! I live right down in the south west.

*Points to a map, right down in the bottom corner*

See! I'm ever below Kembra! I have a lot of high cliffs and a lot of tourism every year! I'm also an old Celtic county!

*Smiles*

I even have my own language! Kernewek! And my own Flag! Its du with a gwyn cross!

*Cumbria's voice*

Umm Cornwall?

Jes?

Would you mind speaking English? I mean I know your proud of being one of the only-if not the only county with your own language but we, and the rest of the internet can't understand a word your saying.

*Cornwall looks surprised*

Oh silly me! Shall I repeat myself then?

*northants voice*

Would you mind?

*Cornwall looks back at Camera*

Hello! My name is Cornwall! I live below Wales! I have my own language called Cornish and my own flag which is black with a white cross! How was that?

*camera nods*

Excellent! I'm happy to have helped you guys!

*camera switches off*

* * *

><p><strong>Ok i apologise for my terrible attempt at cornish! It took me a while to find a translator so i'm sorry if its inaccurate!<strong>

**Next on my list is one i've been wanting to do for a while! Greater Manchester! Better go brush up on my mancunian accent!**


	18. Video Diary 17: Greater Manchester

**WE'RE BACK! AND THIS TIME ITS MANCHESTER! **

* * *

><p>Video Diary 17:<p>

Full Name: James Kirkland County of Greater Manchester

*Camera on*

What exactly are youse two up to then?

*we can see a tall boy with spiked blonde hair that has been bleached almost white at the tips. As with the others he has the noticeable eyebrows and green eyes of England. He's tall, at least 6ft and wearing a leather jacket with a ripped white top and jeans.*

*Cumbria's voice*

Manchester, could you tell us a little bit about yourself for our video please? We're trying to show everyone that the counties are just as important as Uncle America's states.

Yer off yer trolley ah kid, but ah guess I could 'elp ye. Erm, ma name's Grea'er Manchester an' I'm a coun'y in the north of Englan'. Ahm fairly industrial an' I'm home t'one of tha biggest shoppin' centres in Englan' ahm madferit y'know. An' Lancashire's cricket team used t'belong tah me? Ya hear me ah kid? Don' believe nuffin 'e says about it always bein' 'is.

*Northants' voice, quiet*

And I only understood about four words in that passage.

*Manchester glares at him*

Er are you sayin' I'm not talkin' right?

*camera shivers a little*

N-N-No! I'm not! Thank y-you v-very much for the i-interview!

*Cumbria nods*

Yep! Thanks!

*Manchester smiles*

Sound, erm this video… is goin on the internet righ'? So everyone's gonna see this?

Yep! But too late to reconsider now!

*Northants' voice*

Cumbria! He'll kill us if you say that!

*camera switches off as the two make a hasty retreat to a rather confused looking Manchester.*

* * *

><p><strong>i apologise for my pitiful mancunian. I had to google it since i don't know what it sounds like. if you know Mancunian (or speak mancunian) read it in your best mancunian accent and enjoy! :)<strong>

**aaaand! next on my list is Merseyside! and i actually know what scouse sounds like!**


	19. Video Diary 18: Merseyside

**Ok, so this was probably the most fun to write chapter so far. I hope my OC for Merseyside lives up to your expectations!**

* * *

><p>Video Diary 18:<p>

Full Name: Ellen Kirkland County of Merseyside.

*Camera switches on to show a tall, skinny girl with lanky blonde hair that reaches her shoulder since it's tied up in a messy side ponytail. She's wearing a union flag sleeveless shirt and a pair of shot shorts and flip flops. Eyebrows and green eyes of course, and she's chewing gum.*

Y'awlroit there? Wot's the camera for you two?

*Northants' voice*

We're making a video of all the counties and we've come to interview you.

*she grins*

Really? Oi could be famous y'mean? Wotcha want me to say then?

*Cumbria*

Just a little bit about yourself is all.

*Merseyside looks at camera*

Awlroit then, ma name's Merseyside, but I'm more well known for one o'me cities, Liverpool, because o' the football team ah guess. The river Mersey divides me land roit in half but does mean that oive been a very industrial place for a long toime. Oi was a key place t'be in the induatrial revolution y'know. An Liverpool is ah culture capi'al apparently.

*Cumbria nods*

Wow! That's so cool! Anything else?

John Lennon was born durin' one of the air raids in Liverpool.

*both Northants and Cumbria*

NO WAY!

*Merseyside nods*

Yes way. Ringo Starr came from me as well. An' Tom Baker.

SERIOUSLY?

*Merseyside nods*

Whatchall getting worked up over? They're only people.

Thanks Merseyside! This is a great interview!

Awlroit then, glad t'ave 'elped ye.

*Camera switches off*

* * *

><p><strong>And once again i hope my rendition of the local dialects are ok. Scouse is difficult to write i've realised. But fun nonetheless. Next on my list is...<strong>

**Lincolnshire!**


	20. Counties Camera: News Update!

**Ok, major apologies for the long lack of updates but seriously i've had (and technically still have) my GCSE exams for the past couple of months so i've had literally no time at all for updating. Plus i got hit in the head with a crap ton of writers block for ages, i had an accident that left me blind for a month back at the end of May and then theres all this Jubilee celebrations and things that got me all tangled up and unable to access a computer. In short. LIFE IS TRYING TO KILL ME. But anyways i can see again now so i can write! So please enjoy this little news update from our lovable little counties!**

* * *

><p>*Camera Switches on to show Northants and Cumbria surrounded by several other counties*<p>

*Cumbria's voice*

Is it on? Are we live Yorkshire?

Aye,

*Northants smiles and waves at the camera, everyone copies him*

Well everyone nice out there on the wide world that is the internet…

*Merseyside interrupts*

And the French because we know you lot watch this, we've seen you and don't think we're not tellin' France about it!

*Northants continues*

Well, we haven't been very active lately because of all the hassle we've been through for the past few months…

*Bedfordshire speaks up*

There was dad's birfday, wha' a chatastrophe that was.

*Cambridgeshire*

Then there was easter, that was fun!

*Isle of Wight, who's being held by Hampshire, speaks up*

We had a massive easter egg hunt and I got to eat loads and loads and loads of chocolate kya!

*Northants nods*

And then, well you know whats been coming up over the past few months here in England to keep us busy!

*everyone*

DIAMOND JUBILEE!

*Hampshire's voice*

The river parade was great! Kent and I set up boats so everyone could sail!

*Kent nods*

It was goin' well until Ox and Cam decided they were going to try and recreate the boat race an' try to out sail each other.

*Oxfordshire and Cambridgeshire glare at each other, Oxford Turns to the camera*

Was alright until that git rammed me and we almost sunk!

Wasn't my fault you idiot! You just can't sail is all!

Your Fault!

Your Fault!

*the two begin fighting*

*Northants sighs and turns back to the camera*

Yes, well that was a lot of fun, then we also had a huge street party on the day of the jubilee.

*Hertfordshire pipes up*

Dad tried to cook and almost gave us all food poisoning!

*There is a mixture of "eeews" and "urghs" from around the group*

*Cumbria continues*

And then there was the concert at Buckingham Palace! Wasn't Madness great?

*All start singing*

OUR HOUSE! IN THE MIDDLE OF OUR STREET!

*Voice from the other room*

What on earth are you lot doing in there?

*Cumbria answers*

Nothing Dad!

*turns back to camera*

So anyways we just wanted to let all our watchers out there, even you Frenchies, that we'll be continuing our video diaries ASAP! And we apologise for leaving our website un-updated for so long.

*all*

SEE YOU LATER!

* * *

><p><strong>Reviews needed for inspiration ^^ <strong>

**Requests and suggestions welcomed**

**Flames will be used to stoke my steam train. **

**HOPE YOU ENJOYED! Next on my list is uhh... Lincolnshire! yay!**


	21. Video Diary 19: Lincolnshire

**Baaaack! *happy dance* have Lincolnshire! and Durham and Yorkshire cuz they make an appearance as well hehe ^^ **

* * *

><p>Video Diary 19 Lincolnshire<p>

Full Name: Stephen Kirkland County of Lincolnshire

*Camera switches on to show a tall boy with messy hair down to his neck that sticks out all over the place, he's wearing loose clothing: jeans and a shirt. He has his ear pierced as well.*

*He addresses camera*

'ey, whats this for?

*voice from behind camera*

It's a video diary! Haven't you heard from the others, we said you were next on our list!

*He looks surprised*

Must have missed that message, y'want me to introduce meself then?

*camera nods*

Alrigh' I'm Stephen Kirkland county of Lincolnshire an' I'm in the north east of England. I'm an agricultural county but I have a lot of attractions an-

*Voice from other room*

But yer not as good as I am!

*Lincolnshire scowls and looks at someone off camera*

Shuddup Yorkshire! Yer just jealous!

*Turns back to camera*

Ahn I probably should mention tha' Yorkshire an' I don't get along too well. He just can't accept that I'm a far better county than he is.

*The next section is blurred by hast editing but you can lip-read an exchange of extremely violent and rude swearing from both Lincolnshire and Yorkshire who appears out of nowhere.*

*Camera resumes filming and Cumbria speaks*

Cut it out! Idiots we'll have to edit half the tape now! You're lucky we're not live!

*Lincolnshire rubs back of head embarrassedly*

Sorry 'bout tha'

One last thin' I'm also the county where Margaret Thatcher came from.

*Girl's voice is heard and Durham appears on camera*

Miners Strikes! I've never forgiven you for that! How could you!

*another section of heavily edited tape*

*Northants voice*

Well, we did it…

*Cumbria*

Don't know how much of that footage we can actually upload though…

I'm sure it'll be fine with a bit of editing. Who's next Cumbria?

Nottinghamshire!

Crap, where'd I put my arrow-proof clothing…

*camera switched off*

* * *

><p><strong>As it says next is Nottinghamshire! SO I GET TO BE ROBIN HOOD! *shot* hehe see you next time ^^<strong>


	22. HIATUS NOTICE

**Ok, so the same message is going up on all my long stories so if you just had this appear about 6 or 7 times in your inbox I'm really really really sorry.**

**Ok, so I need to take a hiatus guys.**

**I know its been months in some cases since I updated and I promised that over summer I'd do lots of writing but I have genuine reasons for this decision.**

**Firstly, I don't want to completely stop these stories as I love them dearly. But I've been struck with terrible writer's block as of late and just haven't had the motivation to write at the moment. I don't want to write chapters that are hurried or bad so I want to take a break to regather my ideas and ability to form a good story.**

**Furthermore finding the time to write is not the easiest, I've been ver y busy as of late and I'm under a lot of stress at the moment. My results day is in a weeks time and very soon I'll be starting a new school I loathe so that's putting a lot of stress on my plate at the moment.**

**Thirdly, some people know this and others don't but about three weeks ago I had a very bad asthma attack, something I haven't had for a good few years (about 7 or 8, normally I'm only a mild asthmatic) and since then I've been unwell. This hiatus is also a chance for me to concentrate on getting myself well enough to write again.**

**I'll still be active on my Deviant Art account, it's the same username as on here if you want to check it out. So I'll be giving updates on my writing status on there. So you'll know if I'm going to start updating again. Its also easier for me to upload artwork because I don't have to be on the computer for ages typing like I do with FF. I may however put up the occasional short story from time to time. **

**Redrosealchemist i am working on your story, its taking a long time because i'm not used to writing as the characters you requested other than Iggy. But i will complete it eventually. I'm so sorry for the wait**

**So, until I'm able to write again my friends adieu. And once again i apologise. **

**Shadow**


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